ramblings of the recently sedentary

     recently if recent is just over three years ago.

     

     ramblings are now more verbal than geographical.

     

     sedentary in the stationary, not lazy-moss-growing-on-you, way.

     

     in the year of 2006 i came off of the road after a solid five year vagabondage, got engaged, bought a house without a job, got a job, and got pregnant (not actually me, but you know).  by 2007 i got married, quit my job, found another one, had a daughter, and started nurturing the roots of the sedentary.   life rarely moves at the speed of trees anymore, and solitude is out the window, but these are the best choices i've ever made and this is the best life i could have ever dreamed.  the only real choice i made was just to say "yes".

     i used to spend my time wondering if i was a sensual mystic or a mystified sensualist, but now i'm just daddy or darlin'.  i tried to walk off into the desert until her voice came into my van as i left a hurricane in south carolina, drove through thunderstorms clear across tennessee, hit arkansas twenty minutes after tornados touched down - her voice said "You're on the wrong path."  so i slept on a farm in arkansas for a few days to digest that and then drove straight through to texas - to the woman i said yes to, the woman whose voice came to me in the van.  now i spend my time wondering about gardens and home additions and eye exams and how my little girl manages to climb to the top of the slide on her own.  i wonder about how i can make my wife's load a little easier and how she can help with mine.  i wonder about friends i've made all over.  i wonder about how much screen i need to fix all the spots where our dog has made some spectacular escapes.  i wonder if i will make art again soon, or write songs again, doodle off a haiku - i know it will all have its day again.   and so i wonder about reaching out again to the wider world, even the world wide web, to see if i can touch people there and have them touch me right back.  a friend of mine sings,  "To all you ramblin' gypsies with your stories up your sleeve, i give thanks for your encouragment to me".  

     now i just wonder.